the power of being privileged

There is no country in the world in which women have reached equality, which is an utterly depressing thought in 2016. But over the last two weeks in the United States (US) and Australia, we aren’t just talking about unequal pay or whether we are judged more unfairly on our appearance. YET AGAIN, we are having to validate that we get to choose who touches our bodies, and we have the right to be free from an epidemic of violence. Women continue to have to debate why they as human beings deserve basic fundamental rights.

Last week there was footage released of US Presidential candidate Donald Trump saying he could do whatever he wanted to women because he was rich and a star, including actions that amount to sexual assault. The overwhelming response from men and some women was that those comments were not ok, because they were a mother, had daughters, were or had a wife. This week in Australia on show Q&A (ABC television), there was a question regarding the Respectful Relationships program being rolled out in Australian schools. The questioner wanted to know how we could tackle the issue of domestic violence without alienating and “branding half the population as abusers”. Richard De Natale, the leader of the Greens party, said in response “privilege is usually invisible to those that have it” and noted the privilege of white middle aged men. The response from another panellist (a white middle aged male) to that comment was that he “had a daughter”.

I am sick of the worth of women and girls being linked to their role in the world as a daughter, a mother, a wife. Really doesn’t need to be stated that a woman is someone’s daughter and it does not matter whether a woman is a mother or a wife. If we haven’t come past a women’s worth being attached to those roles then no wonder we still have an issue with domestic violence and equality. As the main cause of violence again women is from male attitudes and behaviours of how a woman is to act and participate in society.

Do we need to say that one man isn’t responsible for all domestic violence? No. That is common sense, but society as a whole is responsible for issues that a prevalent in the entire community. So are those that have perpetuated a patriarchal system which has led to the main causes of violence against women. Have women done this alone? No. Have women even been the main source of these issues? No. Men have to take some responsibility for this, like any group that has significantly contributed to an issue. This is a gendered issue, and if we don’t acknowledge that it will never get better. If we can’t state that within the issue of violence against women, it is overwhelmingly men that are the perpetrators then there is no chance of reducing the numbers around the world of 1 in 3 women being the victims of male violence and 1 in 5 women being the victims of sexual violence in their lifetime. We will continue to see numbers of at least one woman per week being murdered by a partner or ex-partner in Australia.

Women deserve to be equal by virtue of their status as a human being. So if you as man are uncomfortable with the mention of men being the main cause of violence against women then do something to change that, don’t whinge about being offended. Because what is really offensive is that as a women aged under 44 I need to fear men, more than I fear cancer. It is offensive that men still think they can touch and do whatever they want to a woman. As Richard De Natale stated privilege is invisible to those that have it. So men, (and others) let tell you a little more about privilege so you can be less offended by the benefits you have without ever having to do anything personally for them.

Privilege is a set of unearned benefits given to people who fit into a specific social group. Aspects of a person’s identify including race, gender, sexual orientation, language, ability and religion are some of the areas in which privilege is granted. In western society, there is a recognised privilege for white, middle to upper class, heterosexual and full abled men. Those that fit into that category have more rights, power and freedom in societies. They overall control the law, economy, media, culture and politics. Privilege is the opposite of oppression. It is linked to power systems and affects people in each category together, they don’t negate each other. So as a women I don’t have male privilege but I have it in other aspects. Privilege in my life means that in the same circumstances, for someone without that type of privilege life would be harder. Privilege is the way that everyone should be treated, as in, all people should be free from oppression. This would mean groups of people would not be the victims of discrimination, that we would all be equal. But we cannot achieve equality if we don’t acknowledge that our current systems have institutionalised power for a group that creates greater opportunity and makes life easier for those people. Those that are the beneficiaries of privilege need to acknowledge that and the advantages that are afforded to them. Privilege is something to be aware of and there is a responsibility of the privileged groups to work to end the oppression of other groups.

To the men that are sick of being told off for their unwanted advances and derogatory language, imagine how sick women are of being the victims of it. To the men that tired of being associated with male violence by being simply being a man, imagine how tired women are of experiencing it for simply being a woman. To the young man that asked the question on Q&A about the Respectful Relationships program, congratulations on enjoying the benefits of privilege which makes you think that not mentioning facts of an issue as to not offend you is more important than working to save another person’s life.