an open letter to the PM*, love will win

Dear Prime Minister,

On the weekend I had the pleasure of being present at the most beautiful wedding I had ever been to and watch another step in an incredible love story. I enjoy weddings of the people I really care about, it means something to them even if I have no urge or need for marriage myself. This wedding was different, this wedding brought a tear to my eye and a surge in my heart. The vows that were spoken meant something more than I had ever heard before, the look they gave each other made me believe like never before, their love had inspired me. Maybe they are just two incredible people with an extraordinary love. Or maybe it meant more, because here were two women declaring their love for each other in front of their friends and family that offered them unconditional love and support, and in that very moment I could finally imagine a world where love won.

Marriage is a declaration of love and also a legal entity. In 2004, the government of the time changed the law to ban gay couples from marrying or adopting children from overseas. Under Prime Minister John Howard, the government rushed to amend the Marriage Act enabling the changes into parliament. The Marriage Act would be changed to include a definition of marriage as the voluntarily entered into union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, to exclude same-sex couples from marrying. The law until that time did not define marriage. Why was this done? In John Howard’s words “we’ve decided to insert this into the Marriage Act to make it very plain that that is our view of a marriage and to also make it very plain that the definition of a marriage is something that should rest in the hands ultimately of the parliament of the nation''. Because he did not want the law “over time [to] be subject to redefinition or change by courts”. In other words, we better change it now, before same-sex couples start wanting in on this marriage thing and the court would affirm that they were entitled to the same rights.

As I sat there on the weekend, looking at two people so in love, I felt a sadness that this couldn’t be legal. That as a country, we were deeming this love to not be equal. That the government would not amend the Marriage Act that was only changed 12 years ago to specifically exclude people. The Liberal Party put forward a plebiscite so that the people of Australia would vote on marriage equality (although this would not be binding on the government anyway). It was claimed a plebiscite is a display of democracy and that the people rather than the parliament should decide the issue of marriage equality. In 2004, John Howard said when he changed the legislation, “it is something that ought to be expressed through the elected representatives of the country'', but now the government believes we must first have a nationwide debate on the issue and ask each citizen to give their opinion? So in essence, it is the parliament’s job when it is to exclude, divide and discriminate, but not the parliament’s role to unite, include and promote equality.

It has been insisted that the plebiscite is the “only way” to resolve the issue but it’s not. The Marriage Act when written in 1961 never stated exactly who is qualified to enter into the union of marriage. In 2004, the parliament amended the legislation as Mr Howard said it was a “necessary assertion by the parliament of the country above all others to define what is regarded in our community what is a marriage''. National polling on Australian support for same sex marriage (2009-2012) shows 64 per cent in favour, yet somehow now it’s not for the parliament to represent the community now on this issue? Not even that I agree on that premise – this is discrimination and should end no matter what – but we can’t even get consistency on what the role of the government is. The government wouldn’t ban any other group based on race, colour, religion or nationality from marrying, so why do you continue to do it based on sexual orientation.

What is the reason for the Liberal Party not allowing a conscience vote? The only motivation I have heard put forward is that there are some in the party that are using their religion and conservative beliefs as a legitimate reason to be against marriage equality. But religion has no part in this discussion, because we are meant to be a secular state that treats all citizens equally. The same people in the government that are using religion and conservatism to argue against same-sex marriage being legal in Australia are the same people that are warning us against the risk of Sharia law. Sharia law is based on Islamic religion and morals, so I am failing to see the difference if we are basing Australian laws on Christian religion and morals. If there is any valid reason stopping the changes to the Marriage Act and allowing marriage equality besides some members of the government and their hard-line religious views, could you please let me know?

After the voting down of the plebiscite, you said the government has “no plans to take any other measures on this issue". While others may have given up on the issue, because they have fought long and hard to no avail, there are some that will never give up because to allow the government to discriminate in not allowing same-sex marriage is saying we don’t care about their equal rights. It is not ok to sit by and wait because some day it will finally happen, because rights and justice delayed are rights and justice denied.

So you can continue to be the Prime Minister that promised so much, that supported the LGBTQI community and marriage equality and stopped when you had the power for it to truly matter. It was pretty easy to stand up for marriage equality when it was convenient to do so, but it’s where you stand at times of challenge that means the most. I am sure you want a nation where all citizens feel equal, where there is an inclusive society where people feel respected for who they are. So again you have the chance to do right thing and allow parliament to amend the Marriage Act to provide equality before the law. You can choose to be on the right side of history, because love won on the weekend and love will continue to win.

Regards

Simone Cappelluti

*I will also be sending this letter to the Prime Minister.